Life's too short for watching any badverts, but we've all seen them! The worst offenders named and shamed here!

Adverts are shite! And that's actually not because we're forced to have them in exchange for commercial TV channels and the programmes on them to exist at all, most of us kind of accept that, although adverts will always get in the way, the reason we hate them is simply because they ARE shite in the first place, if adverts were better they'd almost be as entertaining as watching the TV for the programmes in the first place! So why are nearly all TV adverts actually badverts or my favourite word to describe them, sadverts? 

Let's take a look at Sky, who for years have provided more channels than you could get free with just a boring old TV aerial via a satellite in the Sky and made you pay to have your TV being able to look up at it and get the programmes and channels, then later you could record everything so you would never have to miss any TV, because that would be an absolute disaster if you ever missed anything. Now in the streaming age, the good folks at Sky TV are busy trying to convince us that the clunky old satellite dish and actually being able to record any programmes that are broadcast is just a load of old hat and you should get with the times and wrench the satellite dish off the wall and make sure that it ends up in landfill and get a brand new box/streaming service where you have the luxury of not being able to record anything again (because that was just too clunky and not very feng shui having TV programmes taking up space on a hard drive). Now it's just a bunch of links to a playlist of shows on on demand and if it's not there you're not going to be watching it, oh and the Sky Q/Sky Glass & Sky Stream boxes they might as well be in the cloud themselves because they remain the property of Sky Inc, after all this is now the age of "own nothing and be happy" and you don't need actual possessions of things you own yourself cluttering up your own house, by making sure that the boxes remain the property of Sky you'll be able to declutter if you ever stop subscribing.  If you stop paying Sky a van will turn up to get shut of your box for you, and all the recorded programmes on it and even any free to air channels will be "not allowed" before they come round to relieve your entertainment setup of Sky, no wait it's worse than that, you have to do a Parcel Force and send it back to them!  When you stop subscribing to Sky Q or Sky Strean first they turn the box/streaming stick into a doorstop then they make you send the doorstop back to the via registered post.

Sky'sa latest nauseating advert promoting not having a satellite dish, it's not BETTER at all, Glass/Stream has LESS channels and content than Sky Q.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aab-zaIOEgI

This is what I wrote on it as they allowed Youtube comments.

Oh wow such a big inconvenience a small little satellite dish and a cable to the box, however did we cope! With the satellite box at least you can record programmes and watch them whenever you like from any channel on satellite, there are more channels live on satellite to choose from than on Glass/Stream, there are +1 channels, and with Sky Q (which I don't have as I've stuck to Sky+ HD) you also have the streaming services/on demand content you would get with Glass/Stream so why on earth if you could would you not get satellite still over it? Plus there are free to air channels on satellite which you can watch whether you subscribe to Sky or not not so with Glass/Stream. The 18 month contract, if it's such a big inconvenience why don't you drop it for your satellite customers then! It's all part of the "own nothing, be happy" culture which also includes your own home, as people are increasingly living in shared spaces and landlord owned, is not something positive to aspire to in any way!

Other nauseating adverts recently has been the banks trying to look as if they are empathising with peoples struggles in the cost of living crisis, when CEOs etc are on record amounts and the very concept of banks and money facilitates the concept of inequality. Take this advert as an example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGmaEB2xG0w

Here's my ranty slightly unhinged response to such garbage that I left for them as a Youtube comment.

Yesterday a loaf of bread was £1.09 but today it's £1.90, yesterday's prices are not today's prices bro! How ridiculous that this is our progress as a so called intelligent society where the only response is banks making a stupid advert about it instead of positive change!

Nationwide you can so relate to what ordinary people are going through can't you, even though the very concept of bank accounts and money in itself facilitates inequality, as in people with more money in their accounts are allowed more rights and privileges than someone who doesn't. This advert tries to sympathise but doesn't come up with anything that we could actually do about making this better instead of just accepting it! prices are going up bro, let's just sit around and chat about it! Definitely don't have a revolution and hold those with power to account! not that bro!

Definitely don't have a revolution and hold those with power to account! not that bro!

And from the same bank, always run by Tory types that facilitate money as a system

of basic inequality between everybody with their overdraft charges and credit scores, and mortgage refusals

and whatever else, they ran this trying to appeal

to young people on a night out, I don't even reckon the idea for it as stand up comedy

is as bad as most of the comments underneath it make out (I must be a little bit of a square then perhaps after all),

but when you think this was in an advert for a BANK!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGuCTkyN1Sc

It was nauseating! I put the following comment, still online so far.

"Bank = Square, Stand up comedy = hip, Bank+stand up comedy =AWKWARD OFF THE SCALE!" got 3 likes

for it as well so far so the feeling about banks trying to be "down wi' da yoof"

must be mutual.

Wait until Pixar see this! 

To even bring you this blog I've had to spend more time than you should without going a bit clinically insane thinking about what exactly it is that brings us the crappiness of the most execrable TV ads that are sure to

show up on some screen or other even if you try to avoid them like an ex alcoholic vows to steer clear of a Fosters.
Another badvert I've seen around April/May 2023 is people fawning over an animated trolley which they have tried to turn into an "adorable" character. In one particularly badvert the trolley is seen rescuing someone stuck down a well by throwing out a string of sausages as a rope, how moronic would have to be to think that advert is cute or funny.

The annoying retort to your reaction to the various "badverts" we get subjected to is that if you are talking about/thinking about the brand then the advert has done its job anyway, even if you absolutely hate it, actually from that point of view ESPECIALLY if you absolutely hate it!

But I would say if you then go out of your way to avoid the brand, buying anything to do with it as a result, it's hardly had the right effect has it, and that's what I go out of my way to do if it's a particular "badvert".

The ad agency come across as if they feel they had created the next Mona Lisa with this cringefest.

Why has nobody thought of turning a trolley into a character before?

Cringe highlights

A farmer waves to the trolley as it passes by.

The trolley goes through some water and shakes itself off as a dog would, then the Trolley cocks its side up as if it's about to urinate against a lamp post like a dog.

The woman understands what the "trolley" is trying to say instantly.

The trolley pulls the man up from the well using a string of sausage that would just snap off! I know something like this isn't literal but you'd have to be braindead to enjoy this moment.

They play an energetic pop song (Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On) as the "trolley" bravely dashes through flora and fauna. This is an even more lazy way

to try and make the advert fun (by using someone's catchy song) rather than bother to write their own original music

(just stick the chorus of some 80s hit on instead!)

It took me a few unfortunate chance viewings of this advert for my brain to finally click into gear and realise that it's not even advertising bloody Tesco itself what with it using a shopping trolley as its central protagonist and all (that you're meant root for I hope he manages to get him out of that well!). It's actually an advert for Tesco Mobile as a network provider!!, what the hell has that got to do with Tesco's shopping trollies?

Is your device saying "no internet" when you think you should be getting a decent 4G signal the equivalent of the predicament of 

getting stuck down a well?

Astonishing Thought Of The Day: People are probably paid at least £30000 a year to come up 

with this inane drivel! The old fashioned concept of actually having an advert that has got something to do

with advertising the product that they are trying to sell, has become a long forgotten ancient lost art by 2023. And in recompense I'll never use Tesco Mobile as long as I live (because I'll just stick with EE).

Looks like the good folks of Tesco Mobile have stuck to the main trend of TV advertising in the 21st century.

One of a long line of adverts now that try to use the same psychological tactics of the CIA, and never shove upfront the actual thing that the advert is actually

advertising via an advert actually about.

For example

An advert that shows a troupe of performers performing a street dance in the middle of Rio De Janeiro, but towards the end of the 30 seconds

we see the Ford logo! Perhaps I can take it from that that that was meant to be some sort of car advert, who knew

It's cliched but as if the ad agency was "on something" when it put this together, pressed finalise on the edit then went out 

to get a load of frappacinos to celebrate.

There's more reasons to shop at Morr iss ons than Tesco, Asda, Aldi or even Iceland, why, because this supermarket is fully behind farmers, 

and farmers are just the salt of the earth aren't they

Apparently there's a Farmer Christmas.

One of the "lowlights" of the TV advertising of Christmas 2022 was the Morrisons ad taking a play on words

that turned Father Christmas into "Farmer Christmas" haw haw how my sides are splitting! and therefore making a whole farmer themed advert around it! Cringe!

to see the ugly results, or to relive the traumatic experience of the ad itself click here.

What is so fun about being reminded that most of our food has come from a farm, at least when it's all wrapped up in the pretty graphics of its various packaging we

don't usually get a salutary reminder of just what had to happen for that edible foodstuff to get to your gob.  Seeing a farmer in action makes you realise

just how dependent you are, you should be so grateful for Britain's food producers that you should go on sit 

on a farmer's knee in his tractor (or their tractor if it is a non binary farmer) every time he goes out to dig up the potatoes. 

Now I've had to watch it again for this blog, I actually like the self deprecating bit about the magic ovens just being normal ovens. Adverts used to just about be bearable back in the 90s when a bit of subtle humour was done quite cleverly as long as the whole thing wasn't a cheesy dreg like most are now!